Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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