Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
