i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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