you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
whose ass print is on the piano?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
