What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
