dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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