My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
