I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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