best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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