This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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