if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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