Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
