apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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