Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
