Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
