Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
