like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
vagina is talking i cant
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
