i think i have herpe
just one?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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