Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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