Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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