Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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