D3 body, D1 cock
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
