Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
