Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
