Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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