you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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