Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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