...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
