My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
