and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
