Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
