im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
