Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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