My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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