Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
