party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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