You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
