somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
