I didn't shave. On purpose
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize