ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
