smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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