Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize