i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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