What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
