My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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