you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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