I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
These tits shall not be calmed
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
