I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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