I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
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