Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
