My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
