I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
