Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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