So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
