Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
