how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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