We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize