all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
