thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
