So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
