She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
