drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
