So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
