The brown eye won't let me do that either.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize