My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
